Won't You Be My Neighbor

Some people have nosey, noisy neighbors who are all up in your business.

Some people are dealt the weird neighbor who is into hemp blankets and tarot cards.

And still, others have neighbors that just exist. Never crossing paths. Never interacting.

None of those options are ideal, and so for me, I was blessed with a fourth option: perfection.

When I came to live here, I knew I had lucked out because the building looks like Hogwarts (as confirmed by many DoorDash, GrubHub, and independent restaurant delivery people I have encountered over the years), it is in a quiet town with easy access to the city, and it is a perfect commute to my job - no highways, baby.

I also figured my neighbors would be decent since the building is not inexpensive - though it is important to note that money does not guarantee a mature, good human being.

Again, luckily for me, my two floor neighbors are perfection.

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Immediately after moving in, one of my neighbors came over one night when I was painting the apartment with my family and offered some wine and food. Dressed impeccably, with the kindest smile on her face, I knew right then and there that I was going to be okay. She informed me that her name was Debbie* and that my other neighbor on my other side was Dorinda*.

I wrote the names on a paper with arrows pointing to their door directions because I knew I'd mess up which neighbor was which since the names are alliterative. I think I still have that paper somewhere, 4-ish years later. I wrote it thinking, Cool, when I see them I will say hello, insert their name, and all will be well. That's the extent of my neighborly duty.

Little did I know we'd become fast friends, though our age gap was more than 30 years. There was no denying the "women looking out for women" bond that our second floor of single women brought us. When the power went out in the midst of a crazy snow or rain storm, I'd walk over to Dorinda's, where Debbie would already be perched on a couch sipping on wine (I think I got her to try beer for the first time in years once). We'd catch up: who was new to the complex, if any drama was currently occurring, or how work was going for us all.

Now, I wish we had more power outages because in those moments, I learned a little more about my fellow neighbors. I learned that Debbie was once a travel agent and had ventured to many countries to get a first hand perspective of what she shared with her clients.

She told me a story about when she was younger and had traveled off to Ireland and stayed in a B and B that burned down the night she slept there and that she ended up leaving her travel acquaintance because they weren't on the same page for vacation.

She was an independent and strong warrior.

We bonded over Ireland and my Irish-style pub kitchen.

She loved it.

Once she brought over two figurines she had bought at an estate sale that she said fit perfectly in my kitchen.

They do.

I invited her to my Christmas party this year, and though she couldn't stay (Debbie always had a party or event to attend because she was fabulous), she brought over a beautiful gift: a glitzy star, probably meant as a holiday decoration - but for some reason, I keep it out all year; hanging on my lamp.

It's very me.

Debbie and I bonded over cats.

I took the plunge 2 years ago and got my cat, Mumford. Debbie said she'd always wanted one, but had never acted on it. A few months later, I get a text with a video of her cat, Taradiddle that she had rescued.

She spoiled that cat.

And you know why else Debbie was awesome? I asked Debbie to watch my cat twice in the last year... meaning to come into my apartment, water and feed him, which seems easy, but it is asking someone a lot to be responsible for another's pet. And I am sure Debbie probably played with Mumford too, because she was a good person. Because she cared.

Because she was Debbie.

I think losing Debbie is especially difficult because I know how wonderful of a person she was.

How much life she had left to live.

How many untold stories of travel and life in general she had left to share.

Last time we had dinner together with her wonderful sister, brother-in-law, and Dorinda, I told her about this blog. I told her that she should be a contributor with all the tales she must have from her times traveling. She was excited to read it, but time went by and I forgot to give her the link. I know she would have "warmed up the computer" whenever I put on a new post, and would have been an avid reader because she was a supportive, wonderful woman.

I shall miss Debbie immensely.

No one will ever quite replace the neighbor to my left. Ever.

I'm not sure if neighbors should bring out this much emotion... but I guess that's also how I know she wasn't just a neighbor. She was a friend.

Rest in peace, Deb.

<3

Skål xx

* names have been changed